Army Children 12.10.13

Yesterday we received the pleasure of our ever-allusive classmate Connel’s company to Blues Cafe for a cheeky prinks (£1.20 pints) and then off to the standard Friday night entertainment Sigmund-Freud. Maddy had bought along her tandem partner, I of course had Masha come from the Masters English class we help with, and Sophia bought along 2 girls we met a few weeks ago at SF. Until the boys came we were outnumbered Russkis to English, not happened yet. Quite a few of the others have been gracing St.Petes with their presence this weekend. If not we may have taken up the whole place.

SF provided the usual karaoke entertainment. We’re part of the regulars crowd now so a cheeky word and smile at the bouncer and I had us at a front table with him throwing out chair after chair from his secret chair rooms. Legit there’s at least 3 of these secret furniture storage facilities there. Cute night of singing and merry-making,

This morning I had a presentation to do at this Cadets School. My new pupil, Olga, is a teacher there and thought it would be a nice idea that I speak to her 10-11 year old first years about England. Plus she paid me for it with chocolate and actual money!! Also a 20 ruble Belarussian note. Hopefully that’s just for souvenirial purposes because you can get into big trouble for using non-legal tender as payment. I know these things; I used to work in retail. I dragged Sophia along with me to use as a human shield against any dogs we should find wandering the streets in their rabid manner on the way. Turned out to not be too far and we didn’t get too lost.

It was basically an all-boys actual cadet school. As in they’re 11-18 and their school uniform is complete camouflage. My cadet camps this summer got me used to seeing little kids all tactical looking for war, but it was quite a sight. This class were pretty rowdy as expected from 11 year old boys and while me and Sophia sat at the back waiting to start we could hear them repeatedly saying random words in English in a bid to get our attention. It was cute, but boys that age are weird. At the end of the presentation which I gave in English and Russian, (I’ve never been so stressed in my life), she got the kids to ask me questions. It had been their homework so they each had a list of qs such as: “what’s your name, how old are you, what’s your favourite season, do you like chicken?” The last one caused many sniggers so I presume it was some private joke against the British and our chicken.

The children wear camo, like what?

When the picture of a full English came up they erupted. Erupted I say. As in actually leapt out of their seats. I was sure one in the 2^nd row was so close to coming up to lick the projector. They did pretty well at guessing the famous face game we had going on. Except when they thought Margaret Thatcher was the queen’s mum.

The boy who hadn’t done his homework and therefore had no mundane question to ask me that he didn’t even want the answer to, was chosen as the one to present me the chocolate and me and Sophia our 20 ruble Belarussian currency which I will treasure until the end of days. They actually had quite an unhealthy obsession with Belarus; Minsk in particular. It definitely came up more often than necessary considering I never mentioned it.

Payment by chocolate. What? I can't buy a house with chocolate.

Then the children left, no doubt to a weapons handling lesson or something like that. Training them to become the next Putin no doubt.

Illegal tender

Olga asked me to come back on Wednesday to do the same presentation but only in English for her 16 year olds. But it kinda sounds more like a set-up because if there’s one boy who’s sick, then I have to come the following week. Basically she seemed desperate for me to meet him. Sounds a bit dodge considering he’s a minor. But I’m rolling and rolling.